Distractions while watching the confirmation hearings

Wonkette's Tips to Make John Roberts's Confirmation More Interesting

*•* Figure out which senators aren't wearing make-up.
*•* Go through box of crayons trying to approximate the exact shade of Roberts dreamy blue eyes.
*•* Turn off sound, do voice over giving senators funny voices or accents.
*•* Turn off sound, start "Dark Side of the Moon." Freaky, huh?
*•* Miniputt!
*•* Put ten glasses of water on your coffee table, one containing poison: close your eyes and re-arrange them. Every time Specter says, "let him finish," drink one.
*•* Translate the hearings for your cat ("And then the senator asked 'meow meow meeeow meow meoooow.'").
*•* Count your yawns per hour; now, can you double that the next hour?
*•* Assfuck -- while you still can.
*•* Prank call the committee members' offices, asking "Is your democracy running?"
*•* Watch them with a gerbil in your trousers.