Dick Cheney makes excuses even Mom would love

Ok, I'm sorry but I had to post this:
From David Lettermans Top 10 last night

*10.* "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm"

*9.* "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page"

*8.* "Not enough Jim Beam"

*7.* "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu"

*6.* "I love to shoot people"

*5.* "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter"

*4.* "I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me"

*3.* "Excuse? I hit him, didn't I?"

*2.* "Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly"

*1.* "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife"